Something is off here, I am not sure what’s going on but for some reason the non Tomb Raider players with blogs out there are trying to paint us die-hards as pervs who cared for the franchise only because Lara had big boobs, a nice ass and a British accent. This really pisses me off, especially knowing that for all my perversions, lusting after Lara was not one of them.
As an Indiana Jones fan growing up I remember the day when Tomb Raider launched and I ignored it. Then one day my roommate in college left for the summer and I had the place to myself during summer school where the women were few, the days long, and the time boring. He had left his Playstation with Tomb Raider on it and out of boredom I popped it in, took it for a spin and lost my mind. From that day on I have played every Tomb Raider and enjoyed them with the exception of 3 and Angel of Darkness. That’s right, I enjoyed the gameplay that you casuals bitch about on every new release of a sequel. I was not one of the pervs forcing her to crawl backwards so that I can scope out polygon ass, or backing her up against a wall so that I can see polygon boobs. I actually played the frickin game, I am a fan of Tomb Raider not polygon booty.
They are trying to paint us die-hards as pervs
So yes when I saw this new Lara Croft and her boyish, Loli body and cuts and bruises I rolled my eyes at their supposed “fix” of a game series that I have always loved. What game will they be emulating for new Lara I wonder and will this be the time that she and I go our separate ways? There was nothing wrong with Lara, there was something wrong with her games after the greatness of the original 2. But to fans like myself we enjoyed the last game, but of course bloggers who didn’t really play it wrote it off in lieu of making fun of real life Lara Croft model Alison Carrell.
So consider this a gigantic fuck you to all bloggers and new fanbois for this “reboot” that judge us old fans as if the game never mattered to us. I hope for the series sake that they can find an engine that will satisfy your salty asses as much as the new 12-year old looking Lara does.